In Memory
by keacdragon
Summary: Merlin feels the pain of losing someone close to him...


**This is dedicated to any who have lost a parent, in memory of a dear contributor to my county fair, my FFA chapter and alumni, and my own 4H club...may all of those no longer with us rest in peace at God's side... :):):):):)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these guys...**

**

* * *

**Six months...

Six months after Morgause had vanished with Morgana...

Five months, three weeks, five days since he released Kilgharrah from his twenty-one year imprisonment...

Five months, three weeks, three days since he left Camelot with Arthur to find Balinor...

Five months, three weeks, two days since his father died...

xxxx

Merlin acted like everything was alright, everything flowed smoothly...Arthur was still a Prat, though not as bad as he used to be, Gwen was still coping with Morgana's disappearance, Gaius was handling things normally, even Uther was acting as everything was fine. The King seemed even mildly calmer at times since the halfway normal echoing howls from Kilgharrah were now gone.

But...

Merlin didn't know what was wrong, he'd never met his father, _Balinor_, before he had to search for the last dragonlord, only heard vague stories from his mother when she had been in a good mood and Merlin could get her into a 'dreamy' remembrance state and she would talk about nearly anything quite freely.

Then why did he feel like some very big part of him had suddenly been yanked, torn, ravaged to pieces and flung into nothingness like it had never existed?

He missed Kilgharrah...like a he missed the blacksmith's oldest, (of nine) son from his village, someone to go to for advice, listen to interesting tales when you could finally get him talking about it, someone willing to watch a few tricks and give actual constructive advice and criticism, someone to talk to who understood...

The dragon had been the one mind in the entirety of Camelot who didn't judge Merlin for who he truly was, (most of the time) who allowed magic and encouraged Merlin...

xxxx

The rain pounded down from the sky, the pouring rain like a forge's hammer. And the little kids wanting to go run and play weren't the only ones feeling the effects of the miserable conditions.

Merlin didn't feel the rain, didn't feel anything; even after walking for hours in the forest.

He must've crossed Camelot's borders at some point, the shift in the air was faint but enough that he somewhat noticed.

Or it might have been that fact that after walking along the border on the wrong side for at least an hour drew someone else's attention.

"Young Warlock, is it just me or do you insist on getting yourself in situations that do great harm not only onto yourself, but also on others' daily happenings?"

Merlin barley reacted to Kilgharrah's sudden appearance, in fact he only stopped his walking and sat right on the ground, as if nothing else was worth doing.

"What is it young warlock? You've obviously been outside for quite some time, you're practically drenched to the bone."

"I...barely knew him...why's it still hurt..."

Kilgharrah almost sighed impatiently, Merlin's vague questioning and explaining was really irritating, but some tone in the boy's voice made the dragon pause.

"Merlin?"

"How...could he just...die for me...he didn't even know me..."

The dragon did sigh this time, softly in sympathy for the boy. It had taken a few seconds to piece the fragments together, but it was obvious now that the boy was grieving for his father, Balinor.

And Kilgharrah couldn't blame him.

In fact...

Merlin responded a bit more this time, mainly because it's the first time the dragon actually went out of his way to comfort Merlin.

Kilgharrah had shifted from standing in the rain behind Merlin in the minimum available room under the redwood trees, to curled around the boy with his tail as a warning barrier for any interrupters and his wing became an awning to keep the rain off the shivering warlock.

The dragon's massive head rested his head next to the boy, trying to make eye contact.

"Merlin..." Kilgharrah sighed heavily, "It's alright, things...happen that we don't plan, even I could not foresee his fate, I didn't even know he was alive...but...over time, things will get better, and your heart will stop plaguing you so..."

Merlin nodded faintly, not really noticing the unusual hesitation in the dragon's speaking. The boy's shivering worsened in the coming night, and with his mind still too numb to really comprehend his actions, Merlin instinctively leaned back against Kilgharrah's warm foreleg.

The dragon jumped slightly, startled at the boy's outright confidence in Kilgharrah's so far 'calm' attitude around him.

Merlin must've been exhausted as well as cold, for minutes after that, Merlin was asleep.

* * *

Merlin awoke to the sound of Kilgharrah's deep, snoring breathing, the dragon's head right next to the guy.

A bird cawed loudly in the tree tops above the two. The storm was gone and the calm of a new morning had come.

Kilgharrah awoke the second Merlin stood up and looked around, realizing where he was.

"Oh no, I'm in so much trouble..."

The dragon said nothing as Merlin brushed the mud off his clothes, grumbling at the state he'd be returning in.

Merlin turned to the dragon, mouth halfway trying to form words; of gratitude or curiousity, the dragon wasn't sure.

Kilgharrah just nodded as he stood, "I understand young warlock...just don't make this a habit, you're too valuable to lose this far in destiny's game."

The warlock nodded and a small, appreciative smile graced his mud streaked face.

"I'll keep that in mind...but do you know which way is Camelot?"

Kilgharrah pointed to Merlin's left, his right, "That way, a steady walk will definitely get you there by mid afternoon, jogging will speed it up a bit."

"Thanks, for everything."

Merlin started towards the city when Kilgharrah stopped him.

"Merlin? Things will get better, and it's all right to have someone to lean on."

* * *

_Sometime in our lives we all have pain_  
_ We all have sorrow_  
_ But if we are wise we know that there's_  
_ Always tomorrow_

_ Lean on me when you're not strong and_  
_ I'll be your friend_  
_ I'll help you carry on_  
_ For it won't be long till I'm gonna need_  
_ Somebody to lean on_

_ Please swallow your pride if I have things_  
_ You need to borrow_  
_ For no one can fill those of your needs_  
_ that you won't let show_

_ Just call on me brother when you need a hand_  
_ We all need somebody to lean on_  
_ I just might have a problem that you'd understand_  
_ We all need somebody to lean on_

_ Lean on me when you're not strong_  
_ And I'll be your friend_  
_ I'll help you carry on_  
_ For it won't be long till 'm gonna need_  
_ Somebody to lean on _

_ Just call on me brother when you need a hand_  
_ We all need somebody to lean on_  
_ I just might have a problem that you'd understand_  
_ We all need somebody to lean on_

_ If there is a load you have to bear_  
_ That you can't carry_  
_ I'm right up the road, I'll share your load_  
_ if you just call me _

_ Just call me when you need a friend_  
_ Just call me when you need a friend..._

* * *

h t t p : / / w w w . l y r i c s 0 0 7 . c o m =lyrics courtesy

In loving memory of those who have lost someone dear, even if you barely know them and only feel their absence in things you do and are part of.


End file.
